- “It felt like someone touched my hoo-ha”
- —Chanel #3 to Cassidy
|Season Two, Episode Three|
|Air date:||October 11, 2016|
|Written by:||Ian Brennan|
|Directed by:||Barbara Brown|
Warts and All
Handidates is the third episode of the second season of Scream Queens, and the sixteenth episode overall. Ian Brennan served as writer and Barbara Brown served as director. It had its official release on Fox on Tuesday, October 11, 2016.
Determined to find out who the killer is, Dean Munsch, Denise and the Chanels question Hester, as well as the sole survivor of the Halloween massacre. Chad accuses Brock of being the killer and makes a shocking proposal to Chanel. Meanwhile, a new patient with an outrageous disorder leads Chanel #3 and Cassidy to grow closer, and another victim crashes a celebration.
The episodes starts off where we left off, with Chanel announcing they have a new serial killer to deal with. She accuses #5 of killing Tyler, but #5 denies it. #3 suggests Hester had something to do with it, and the trio agree. Chanel says they'll have to store Tyler's body in the meat locker again, but #3 interrupts and says the body will disappear again, like the meat locker at Kappa. Suddenly, Dean Munsch appears behind Chanel, asking what's going on. The scene cuts to the Chanels and Munsch, who are bringing the stretcher that had Tyler's body in a dark hallway. #5 wants to call the police, but Munch fears that the publicity of the crimes and the fact the Chanels work here will force the hospital to shut down. They burst open the door into the swamp, where they prepare to toss Tyler's body. However, #5 would like to depart with Tyler, saying she loved him. However, Tyler's body gutters out vomit, to Chanel's amazement. Dean Munsch suspects one of the staff, including the Chanels, killed him. The four toss Tyler into the swamp. Munsch declares none of them speak what has happened, and leaves. #5 is still heartbroken, but the other Chanels tell her to get over it.
Back at the hospital, we see Randal testing out if anything scares him, but is amazed that he is cured! He leaves his room to tell someone that his screaming stopped, but doesn't find anyone. Suddenly, the elevator doors open, revealing the Green Meanie with a hook-shaped machete. Randal thinks it's a test to scare him, so he doesn't suspect anything. As he approaches the Green Meanie, the killer violently slashes Randal's chest. He yells as the Green Meanie slices him again. The Green Meanie then slices Randy's arms off and presumably kills him with a third slash on the chest.
Dean Munsch and the Chanels visit Hester at the asylum again. They demand to know who the killer is; it's killed two and another patient (Randy) is missing. Hester says he's dead, and again repeats that the clues to revealing who the Green Meanie is right in their faces, but they can't see it. She demands to be transferred to C.U.R.E., but Munsch rejects it. Hester says they're running out of time; the more they wait for the transfer, the more outrageous her demands get, the more the Green Meanie will kill. She demands to get a time-share condo, but #5 says she's crazy. Chanel, impatient, bangs on the door and demands Hester to reveal who the killer is; Hester dryly observes Chanel's skin is dry and needs Esrun cream. The gang leave when Chad sends a text saying he knows who the killer is.
In Munsch's office, Chad accuses Dr. Holt of being the killer since his hand belonged to a serial killer. The two fight over Chanel which ends when Chanel rejecting them both. Dean Munsch suggests having Dr. Holt's hand replaced with a new one that never belonged to a murderer.
The next scene introduces Sheila, the new patient, experiencing her 27th orgasm of the day. Dr. Cascade and Chanel #3 stand uncomfortable as Dean Munsch looks amazed, asking for her secret. Sheila says her condition has destroyed her life. Dr. Cascade diagnosis Sheila with "persistent genital arousal disorder". He says hormones and other drugs usually cause this, but Sheila says she hasn't been using any of these. He says he will administer a 'heroic' dose of antidepressants as Sheila experiences her 29th orgasm.
Dr. Cassidy Cascade and #3 are later cleaning up an operating room where Chad was practicing cutting off hands. Chanel #3 confides in Cassidy a dark secret of hers: she never had an orgasm and never knew what it was until recently. Cassidy says everyone agrees they're the best until Hamilton, gaining #3's absolute attention. #3 sadly replies that she's alive, but isn't living. Cassidy announces that he can relate - confesses that he's dead. #3 is confused. Cassidy confesses he got drunk at a part and had to lay down. His friends told him if he laid on his back he'll die when he chokes on his vomit. The next morning, he was covered in puke but alive somehow. #3 asks if he really did die, but Cassidy doubts it. #3 proceeds to ask how he is still alive: Cassidy doesn't know. He became a doctor to see if modern medicine had an explanation but found no luck. He thinks he has to complete a quest of some sort to die a moral death. He realizes that his quest might be to help #3 feel alive again. #3 backs away - she says she's been through so much that she's incased in steel, but Cassidy refuses to hear it. They kiss passionately - #3 comments that his lips are cold. Cassidy replies that he is dead.
Chanel #5 and Zayday play Scrabble as #3 reads a book. Chanel comes and bitches how her skin is totally beautiful, despite what Hester said about needing Esrun cream. Zayday has an epiphany as she spells out a word. She jumps and says she knows what to do. The word she spelled out was "nurse".
Later, Dr. Brock finishes showering when a fully-naked Chad, privates covered by a folder, announces he found some candidates for the hand transplant. He hands Dr. Brock the folder, explains the three candidates. However, Dr. Brock hands him back the folder and walks away, creeped out by Chad's comment that their penises are about the same size.
Musnch, Zayday, Denise, and the Chanels exit an SUV. Zayday explains she googled Esrun and found a property named after that in the Everglades. They knock on the door of the mansion, and a male Asian nurse answers. They ask for Lynn Johnson, but apparently the nurse is female and is Lynn. Lynn welcomes them in. Dean Munsch asks about the former hospital, and Lynn responds that she did work there and was present when the Halloween murders occurred. Lynn went to the bathroom and "vocalized", so she couldn't hear anything. She discovered the dead patients. The hospital board paid Lynn five million dollars in hush money and made her sign an NDA. She used to money to start the Esrun cream company. However, recently, she tells the group she received a creepy phone call seemingly from the Green Meanie, who tells her it will kill again. Lynn concludes the autotuned voice was really hiding a woman's voice. She thinks either the pregnant lady from the previous Halloween before the massacre or her child called her.
Back at the hospital in Musnch's office, the group is contemplating the Green Meanie's motive. Denise wonders why the Green Meanie is just starting to kill - he/she got their revenge because the doctors and nurses who killed the pregnant lady's husband are dead. Munsch is convinced someone who works in the hospital is the killer. She also found out the pregnant lady gave birth to a baby boy, who, today, would be approximately 30. They immediately suspect Cassidy. However, Denise says Chad was held back eight consecutive years in second grade, making his thirty. They also guess Chamberlain, much to Zayday's disappointment. Suddenly, Dean Munsch jumps out of her seat.
Chad is performing 'surgery', about to saw the hand of a poor janitor. Dr. Brock, whose in the corner, comments he should sedate him. Irritated, Chad says he won't sedate either of them during the procedure. He returns to saw the janitor's hand. Munsch bursts through the door. She declares Dr. Brock is too old to be the killer, but Chad isn't. He is now her number one suspect. Dr. Brock is happy to get back to work, and walks out the door. Chad follows him, declaring he won this battle but he'll (Chad) win in the long run. Dr. Brock turns around and announces the next body he touches in his hands will be Chanel's. He declares he's going to Tiffany's to get an engagement ring for her. However, Chad is defiant, saying he always gets what he wants. Dr. Brock warns him that if he is smart, he should walk the other way.
Chanel #3 and Cassidy are looking at a crazed Sheila, whose freaking out and Chamberlain is trying to control her. #3 comments that this is how Chanel #5 acted when she was on her meds. The other Chanels took her to a doctor and found out the antidepressants caused her to become crazy. Cassidy realizes the antidepressants are making Sheila freak out.
Later, #3 and Cassidy are trying an experiment in which #3 will do the yoga pose Sheila did when her conditions started - curving your body into a 'C' curve, head down. #3 gets into position and comments she has a strain in her lower back. Cassidy gently twists her hip, and Chanel #3 unravels. She says it felt like he touched her "hoo-haa". Cassidy declares that a damaged nerve from Sheila's back that runs through her pelvis caused inflammation and her vaginal nerves to uncontrollably burst. All she needs is a surgery to cure her.
Chad waits as Chanel arrives at a park. Chanel thinks Chad is trying to murder her, so she brought a stungun, but Chad convinces her it is just a walk in the park. Chad unsuccessfully tries to say he has no idea what brought this on, but an eight-man mariachi band plays as Chad tells Chanel he's been thinking a lot about them. He goes down on one knee to an ecstatic Chanel, but hands her a prenup instead of a ring. He tries to tell her to have her legal team look at it, but Chanel isn't paying attention and says yes to marrying him. They kiss as they turn in circles, but Chad sees Dr. Brock in the distance. They engage in a staring fight, but Chad proceeds to kiss Chanel again. By the time he looked up, Dr. Brock is gone.
Chanel #3 and Cassidy finish up Sheila's surgery, as they tentatively touch hands as they pass the tools. The tension becomes so high they kiss, making a still-awake Sheila to awkwardly look away.
Later, they are both heavily making out and are about to really have sex when Chanel #3 complains about the music. Cassidy switches it and they make out once again. But #3 interrupts and asks for the music to be changed. He complies, then says he'll make her have her first orgasm. But Chanel #3 stops as he tries to take off her earmuffs. Cassidy thinks she isn't attracted to him, but #3 denies it. She says his skin is freezing. Cassidy says they discussed this - he's dead. But #3 doesn't believe him. He measures his own temperature and hands the bob to #3. She finally believes him.
In the locker room, Chad tries to convince Dr. Brock to be his best man. Randy and his fraternity brothers are all dead and he has no one to support him. Dr. Brock observes him and comments that he has cold feet. Chad is scared because he doesn't think he can stay monogamous forever - when he has sex with another girl, he'll cheat on his wife. Dr. Brock makes his bow tie (a little tightly), and says when Chad and Chanel break up in six months, he'll be the one comforting her.
Chanel is showing the other Chanels and Zayday the enormous diamond on her ring. She asks Chanel #3 and Zayday to be her bridesmaids, and they say yes. Chanel asks #5 to be her ring bearer. She's disappointed she wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid, to which Chanel angrily exclaims that they are not that close.
Zayday and Chamberlain are escorting a cured Sheila down a hallway, she says she contacted the news to inform of C.U.R.E.'s successes. However, she looks down the hallway and sees the Green Meanie. The killer throws a hook-shaped machete at her. The flying blade slices and decapitates Sheila. The Green Meanie then slices Chamberlain's chest. An enraged Zayday challenges the Green Meanie, but the killer runs away.
Denise and Zayday look as a restrained Hester is brought in. Denise pulled some strings to have her transferred to C.U.R.E. Denise says she'll have to say who the killer is. Zayday also wants to know why the Green Meanie refuses to kill her, and Denise accuses her of being the accomplice. Hester begins to laugh, until Denise asks her why, Hester replies that it's too late and continues to laugh
In the hospital, Zayday, #3, then #5 come in as Chanel walks the aisle. However, Chad is nowhere to be seen. Chanel says Chad wanted her to walk in first. Everyone is impatiently waiting for Chad to come. Chanel feels a drop of red on her shoulder, followed by another. She looks up as the ceiling breaks. Chad's body falls on the table, his throat slit. Chanel and everyone else screams.
|Character||Cause of Death|
|Randal||Slashed three times in the chest and twice in the arms with a scythe by the Green Meanie.|
|Sheila Baumgartner||Decapitated with a scythe by the Green Meanie.|
|Chad Radwell||Throat slit by Wes Gardner.|
Special Guest Stars
- Glen Powell as Chad Radwell
- Laura Bell Bundy as Nurse Thomas
- Cheri Oteri as Sheila Baumgartner
- Alec Mapa as Lynn Johnstone
- Kevin Bigley as Randal
Absent Cast Members
- Before the premiere of this episode, there was a two week break due to the U.S. Vice Presidential Debate.
- Sheila Baumgartner and Lynn Johnstone made their first and last appearances in this episode.
- This is the first episode of the season to feature multiple present-day murders.
- When Chanel decided to hide Tyler's body in a meat locker, #3 recalls how every time they hide a body, the bodies get stolen, referencing what happened to Agatha Bean and Sonya Herfmann.